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Tag Archives: crazy

Sometimes all I focus on is the future, and Ralph Waldo Emerson thinks that’s wrong.

“There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence.” -Self Reliance

I am confuzzled, I used to say.

“He [man] cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time.” -S.R.

There is a forest within me.

My favourite poet, who also coincides in identity with my old writer’s craft teacher, wrote one day,

I am a bear. I will eat you.

And to have figured that out, oh boy.

I need to read some poetry real soon or else I’m going to get stuck in this mud I’ve trampled into.

Everything is moving so fast (ugh, I am growing tired of writing this phrase over years of blogging), and my brain is simply not keeping up.  Reading for entire days really makes me groggy.  Especially when there’s certain readings that I just can’t. seem. to finish.

(cough, R.W. Emerson, cough)

I love it, but it’s like walking through a case of drying cement.

Anyway, I’m going to go to Tim Horton’s and try to do a little focusing without my laptop. I keep checking the email to see whether my ballsyness paid off or not, and then I remember that it’s Friday night and even employers are out partying.  God forbid I do the same, and be like everyone else.

I just laze around in my bed all day with the shades drawn and the lights on and check my email like some anxious anthropophobic nutcase.

Okie. Enough about me.

-Arina

If I hit my summer low 2 weeks into my summer, there’s only room for improvement, right?

I have: no internship, no plans, no physical non-pain.  I am watching “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” – the absolute wallowing movie frommmmm the 90′s? The 00′s?  I don’t know, but I do know I bought this movie sometime after my period started and before I rediscovered how to use black eyeliner (as in, to have it NOT lining my entire eyelid).  So, well, that says enough about what this movie is to me.  Now, it’s almost enough Matthew McConaughey NOT to warrant a viewing of Sweet Home Alabama all illegal and streamed online, but just not at that “I want to puke and still bang him at the same time” level quiiiite yet.

favourite pre-sex scene ever.

I was going to go to uni, but, well, fuck that, I have cramps and “Ben Barry”… so I’m going to figure that all out another day.

That’s all I got kids.  I hate shit right now.  Except stupid romantic comedies of the early 2000′s.

Those I love. You should too.

-Arina

Hello!

I’ve spent the last 2 days hibernating and watching Gilmore Girls – the last two seasons of which I just bought in Best Buy for less than I used to buy 1 season, several years ago.  (Ie. I bought 2 seasons for less than $50, whereas I used to buy a season for $60-70. What does this say about the usability of DVD’s in the future?)

Oh so joyous. Season 6 was SO not like this.

Anyway, I don’t plan on updating until I finish all 7 seasons (I just started season 7), so… yes.

I also have work tonight.  BUGGER.

Alas, at least I have this job – because I most certainly have not been searching for another job in the past week, when all the good jobs have been being snitched up by less deserving applicants than myself.  Or applicants at all.. since I have not applied ANYWHERE.

I have decided to waste my life, go crazy, and pretend like I’m one of the Gilmore Girls and switch to a different character impersonation every 7 years. When I hit 27 I’m soooo doing Michel.

Okay. Love you all.

-Arina

I just woke up, and since I’m still in that foggy “my life isn’t the same as it was when I went to bed” mood, I thought I should write them (my dreams) down.

Well, clearly, since it’s exam season, I started off in a tiny little white room trying to write 3 exams.  For some reason, the guy in the room in front of me SABOTAGED my papers, ie. gave me the wrong ones.  So when I went outside to go track down my prof (who was my hunky grade 12 history teacher?) he said that nothing could be done because I had left my room and it wasn’t fair to all the other students.  I kept protesting that I didn’t understand why it wasn’t fair and HERE’s where it gets interesting.  A giant Asian sort of worm-dragon-slimy-giant blue thing TORE through the normal exam hall (as opposed to the retard solitary room I was apparently in), breathing ice on everyone and tearing the building down.  Actually, it was just a room.  I didn’t get a sense of what the building looked like.

Anyway, this beast was followed by a big worm-dragon-slimy-giant RED thing that breathed FIRE.  Together they stopped at the exit of the exam hall and kept freezing the door by breathing on it… at this point I’m not sure whether I was on their side or not but I was definitely on their side of the door.  I’m pretty sure they were good guys, with their destruction of the exam and all.

So, we go down the hallway as though we’re running away from something, slipping and sliding towards life or death (except I don’t recall anything but my dread of failing out of university=life chasing us).  We end up on a giant semi-circle cove.  On the right side there is a Greek castle built around the rocks, and on the left nothing but the cliff face.  The 2 monsters sit below the castle where there is a walkway, and then MILLIONS OF OTHER CREATURES POP UP FROM THE SEA AND SIT AROUND THE cove.  They range from small to big, queerly useful to absolutely frightening.  They group together by species, but there’s one that keeps on picking on everyone, and they get called out by Big Blue Monster and start fighting in the water in front of everyone.  It feels like bullfights in Spain, or Gladiator – everyone is cheering, except I’m clearly in outer space, or have completely lost my mind.

At this point I drearily open my eyes to the glaring sunlight streaming on my head in my room to switch to the other side of my pillow.  I remind myself again to go get blinds so I can sleep in peace.  I am not pleased, and my stomach is still doing little gurglings of not-hunger.  Why, stomach?

I drift off into a haze.  I’m in a long hallway, much like the one we ran off down from the exam, except this time I walk into a sitting room of a doctor’s office.  There is a tiny little kitten on a leash and it looks really sad, and sick, so I pick up the leash and when I get frustrated of sitting in the waiting room I walk downstairs to the vet (clearly).  Halfway down the stairs I notice that I’m dragging along a TOY KITTEN. Why I thought this was a REAL BREATHING CAT I don’t know.  It is a toy.  And I look insane, although after the exam I haven’t encountered any other human beings in my dream.

Analysis: I am absolutely, without a doubt, as right as a republican, almost certified, BONKERS. I have gone crazy.  Or I need to not eat fish when I have the stomach flu-ish-like symptoms.  Fish really is not happy to be in me and clearly I have nightmares about giant transformer-like fish, which means well, I’m not happy about fish being in me, or around me, or wanting to kill me, you know.

There was lots of emotions yesterday, after I stopped writing my craptastic essay.  I will write more on that later.  Or not.  This should suffice for my readers until then.  SERIOUSLY.  The dreams I have sometimes.  Did you guys hear about the one where My friends and I were all skating in a barn and then turned into TRANSFORMERS (before the movie was even out) and then we went CAROLING in October on a Main Street in my town, only to come to the last house (which is clearly a shoe store, in reality) and have dinner with the grandparents that live in Russia?  Yeah. Well, another story, another time.  Currently, I need to go take care of my aching belly.   Poor baby.  Giving me bad dreams.

-Arina

PS. Now my life feels a little bit more normal, after I’ve told you all that.  But not much.

I need to update this… thing on the past two days but now is not the time to do it.  Now is the time to link to my wicked friend Mehek, who blogs for MuchMusic.  She does a review of concerts and uncovers wicked indie bands from across Canada and the world for MuchMusic and I laav her.

That is my spreading of goodness for the day, but oh man do I have stories for when I have some time to breathe.  I just need to mull them into perfection while working 15 hour shifts at my 2 jobs over the next couple days.  I’m sure that’ll work yeah?

With 60 kids screaming my ears off?

Okay, well maybe after Christmas.

Oh, Christ!

Ciao.  Wish me luck.
Arina.